Bronwyn C and Fans at WFMU Declare Judge Roy Pearson Douche of the Year

So this past Friday, June 6th (right after a fantastic show by Billy Jam) Killing Time with Bronwyn C’s show started promptly on time-but with a twist! This episode was wholly dedicated to what is normally just a segment on her show; “Douche of the Week.” In, said segment, she reads the fans some news item about some human being (from anywhere in the world) who has gone above and beyond the call of duty to display the worst attributes of their humanity. Almost always it’s never damage the only affects the perpetrator, but something the spills if not ejects to the people around them. In my mind these people are just asses, but to Bronwyn these people are “douches.” So the title of the show was “Douche of the Week Bracketology Special!” And I can probably safely guess she knows nothing about my spoof website form late 1999 “The Temple of Davidology.” But before I go on let me give you a link to the show’s podcast AND playlist . The playlists at WFMU may be one of the more unique things they’ve got going over there; the listeners can actually comment as the DJ adds information. It’s interactive-as the kids say. So you can see my comments and all the other people’s too as we voiced our opinions and casts our votes. Oh, this DJ’s got a lot on the ball, she even wrote a book or 2 a few years ago…

Bronwyn chose 16 people and the goal was to whittle down to number 1 via pairing up 2 at a time and voting. She gave each grouping a name too, like the Stinky Sixteen, the Terrible Two. I forget 8 and 4, but it might have been Frightful Four. And the names of the “contestants” are sort of all there on the playlist. And as a listening I have to say; it was a captivating hour. And half of that was because you didn’t know if there was going to be enough time, and the other half was trying to cast a vote in time before they made a decision. But the odd thing that revealed itself as we listened to one horrible act after another was that people do bad things, and after a while you kind of divide that bad activity into 2 categories; people who just don’t give a fuck about anybody else, and people who clearly have “problems.” Some people DO overlap (like my horrible ex-girlfriend) but when you look at bad behavior you DO start to think in terms of “is he evil or just stupid ?” Classic and perfect example; George W. Bush and Dick Cheney. Isn’t it clear which side of the divide each of these guys fall on?

But all that only brings us to the winner of this contest Judge Roy Pearson Jr . A few weeks back I wrote about how a lot of black people like myself have to live in this sort of constant fear that when we turn on the news somebody black is going to be doing something…black. And yeah, I know the country is going apeshit for Obama. But that’s 6 months out of my nearly 41 year, so that’s a drop in the bucket if you count the number of days I’ve been aware of the nightly news. And a as many of you recall a certain Reverend Wright prompted me to write a piece about how black culture is self-destructive in a crab-like way. The analogy being the crab catchers don’t need to put lids on the baskets because if one tries to climb out, the other crabs will pull him back down into the much with the rest of ‘em. This is easily one of the top 5 problems in black culture. This NEED to be display idiocy in public.

So how did Judge Roy display his idiocy and manage to win a Douche of the Year contest? A contest that went from June 1 2007 to June 1 2008? I mean that’s a lot of douches! Well he lives in the Washington D.C. area and his local cleaners had the NERVE to have a sign posted that said “satisfaction guaranteed.” The cleaner owners were a couple of South Korean Immigrants, the Chungs. Well, they lost his pants. And Judge Roy decided to sue using a rarely enforced obscure “consumer satisfaction” law that compounded the lost amount exponentially to the point that he went to court with a 67 million dollar law suit. The cleaners managed to have found the pants AND they offered him 12 THOUSAND DOLLARS. For his PANTS! So he reduced the suit to 54 million dollars. And are you ready for the best part? He worked for the city for 25 years providing “civil legal assistance to indigent residents of the District of Columbia.”

Reaper the TV Show Survives the Grim Reaper. Returning Next Year

So, like, it was pretty touch and go there about 2 weeks ago. It looked fairly certain that Reaper was going to be take off the air. And I was reading articles about where the cast member were going. But now, as the kids say, it’s all good. The show gets to come back next year . And I’m pretty happy about that. What I’m NOT happy about is that the scheduled return date isn’t until March 03 2009. But this article was written June 2008 so Reaper is canceled as of June 2009 the show is going off the air.

I loved the Loop, which also featured lead actor Bret Harrison. The Loop was set right here in Chicago (that term is also slang for the downtown area of town). Although here’s a strange coincidence; another show I liked that got canceled was Working. That show starred Fred Savage from the Wonder Years-AND, he’s from Chicago too. Hmmmm. Maybe Hollywood had a Chitown bias? Speaking of weird, Bret was actually named “Sam” on both shows. And speaking of dead shows I liked I even liked that ABC Sci-Fi show Invasion. That show of course featured as a cast member Tyler Labine who plays Sock on Reaper.

But still, why does FOX (and almost the CW) keep killing off good shows? I mean when you look at an Arrested Development it’s almost mind blowing. That show was so good it was insane. And don’t get me wrong I like Reaper but it was no Arrested Development! So what is so good about Reaper? It’s fun. It’s a fun show. One of the Executive Producers is Kevin Smith and the echoes of his religion are woven into the show. It’s almost like a tangent view of Dogma. I liked that movie too! Dogma had these kids with scythes who were demons and could teleport around. And Reaper has this kid who’s soul belongs to Satan and now demons are beginning to populate the shows cast. Including great guys from The State Michael Ian Black and Ken Marino. And yeah, I know I wrote about them being on the show already but it’s great! I’m see them really added to the show and Ray Wise? Such a pro. Such great performances every week.

But I was certain the TV show was dead on the second to last episode when it didn’t come on until 11:30 at night! Turns out there was a baseball game. So when all hell broke loose and they started threatening to cancel the show a whole fan movement started. They sent in socks in reference to the character Sock. I can only imagine what type of socks that arrived in the mail at the “CW.” Good thing didn’t write my “it’s canceled piece” 2 weeks ago or I would have had to write a “I mean it’s not canceled” piece.

The Obama Assassination Hints Are Starting To Stack Up

It’s amazing isn’t it? How we’re hearing all these Presidential assassination allusions. Obviously in private people must do it all the time, but probably not since Lincoln have we heard so many public figures make some kind of remark and then have to either make a retraction or face the consequences with law enforcement. After all it IS illegal to allude to killing a President, former President or even Presidential candidate. So in the last month there have been several public figures who’ve had to say things like “Oh I didn’t mean it that way” or “I was just kidding.” Obviously FOX News wasn’t going to allow itself not to be the FIRST place to get people thinking about this idea of a dead Obama . And of course Hillary herself got into the dead President game (and I don’t mean money). And of course I MYSELF said this kind of talk was going to start picking up momentum. White people can’t take it. Listen I know people keep talking about “young people” love Obama-of every color, Hurray! But maybe some young people are cut from a different cloth . Take, for example, this young guy…

This is Yazmany Arboleda and he just had his art show closed down. The title of the show? “The Assassination of Hillary Clinton & The Assassination of Barack Obama.” You say to me, “But Dave, he threw Hillary in there too.” And I say to you, that is what we call a “smokescreen.” Like gay guys and their “girlfriends” or “wives.” I mean you MUST remember Republican Jim McGreevy? He was just in the news! He came out and confessed to being gay, and recently the ex-aide brought out the whole three-way with McGreevy and wife. Oh how short our attention span. At any rate, Arboleda is a Boston artist (what? of course he’s from Boston; I think the black/white issues up there are quite well documented) and he had this great idea for an art show. The problem was that title. A title so inflammatory the NY city police and Secret Service shut him down . The content of the show doesn’t really show either of them getting killed per se, unless you consider maybe character assassination. You can see the contents yourself if you like at that link above. But I have to warn you; there is some graphic content. The Hillary stuff? Oh no, not that. The Hillary stuff includes year book photos of her, her pantsuits, her dog and cat, and allusions that she’s not sexy and takes political money. No. What you’ve got to prepare yourself for are the Obama images . And it’s not the Nappy Headed Hoe picture that’s a problem. Maybe it’s the painting of him and the deceased Kennedy and the word “passed.” Or maybe it’s the Hillary poster that says she’s the “cure for Niggeritis.” Or maybe, just maybe it’s the 18 foot long 6 foot high naked penis of a black man that stretches across all four walls of one of the exhibition halls. Maybe it’s that one.

So why this animosity? Why are people so ANGRY at the prospect of a black man being President. I mean that IS all it is. FAR lesser prepared people who walking into office. I liked Gerald Ford the person, but come on! And does the name George W. Bush ring any bells? But, Dave, he was a governor! Yeah, a bad one. I have a LOT of respect for Bush the elder, but the son? He was so busy killing death row prisoners instead of checking for DNA when almost every single state in the nation put a pause on the practice that he managed to make Texas Number One for number of prisoners killed. And shall we review his alcohol abuse, (unconfirmed?) drug use, failed companies and bail outs? No need to right? You’ve heard it all before. And how about his running of the country? How on earth can any single human American have any conflict about Obama after the Bush experience? Or any conflict about ANY person who is capable of tying his own shoes running the country at this point. The Republican Party got everything they wanted. The Senate, the House, the Presidency, the Supreme Court, and entire NETWORK dedicated to promoting their opinions and masked “leaks.” That’s the whole show. They had a LONG time to show us how good their rule was. They said if they could just get control of the country the “grown ups” would show us how it’s done. And boy did they show us! Let’s let companies police themselves, they’ll do right by consumers and the general public. Let’s let Greenspan run the money-he’s so smart we don’t understand him. (By the way Greenspan’s legacy is the nationwide home loan scandal that’s not just about to crush the American economy but the WORLD money supply-do 20 minutes of research and have your mind blown).

So the white fear; is setting in. But let me ask you-WORST case scenario, how much worse can he be than Bush? And it wasn’t JUST BUSH by the way, it was the other two branches of government AND a cabal of Right Wing Hawks. Who, by the way, have been slowly backing out the back door like thieves in the night and plan on leaving Bush holding the bag alone by next January. They know what they did. They’re like a kid whose mother comes home and he’s all alone with a broken lamp-and says I don’t know how it happened. They know. And WE know. So what is problem with Obama? He’s black. I don’t care what you say about him serving all those years in government here in Illinois AND the Senate. People don’t care. They just feel like he’s “stealing” the government. He’s the ONLY person to apply for this job with a clean record. Just LOOK at McCain’s history or anybody else. Bill Clinton managed to slip in DESPITE his dirty record, Obama’s actually lead a decent life. He’s a bright guy. What else do you want? Oh. White skin. Silly me. I sometimes get to the end of a paragraph and forget how I started.

Listen. I kind of DON’T want Obama to win. The aftermath of Bush is going to be so severe that the person who goes into office now is going to look TERRIBLE. Unless they’re a miracle worker. So Rupert Murdoch says “no” on Obama and people like former President Carter and Arianna Huffington say “yes.” I bring those 2 up because they agree with ME that Obama should not have Hillary as his VP. It’s a bad idea-the Red States would burn the country down first is what I believe. But Jimmy says their combined weaknesses would too easy to attack. Huffington says you’d get Bill in the package too, and that “three-way” as she put it would be too much. It’s a long time till November though. A long time.