Surprise! Andy Dick is Not the Issue on Sober House. It’s a Celebrity Rehab Veteran

Annnnnnnd…we’re back! So Vh1 is up to their old tricks again; convincing celebrities that they’re “helping people by going public with their problems.” This, of course, is a joke. The goal is to make them look AWFUL and embarrassing for the amusement of a spiteful and fickle audience. Ah sweet, sweet, TV. Where would I be without you. In fact…Wait. Let’s stop this train for a second and first let’s talk about ME. See, I can’t believe I’m watching this show. Last year I was even watching Intervention. Here’s the kicker; I don’t do drugs. I don’t even DRINK. On top of all that; I don’t even know people who DO! I mean damn. Why am I watching these shows? What is wrong with me? Oh no! I’m addicted to bad TV! Shit! This is now the 4th or 5th Vh1 show I’ve watched. It started pretty innocent with the Salt N Pepper show (or maybe it DIDN’T start so innocently, it might have been the Flavor Flav Brigete Neilson one), and now I’ve sunken to all these rehab shows.

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Actually Sober House caught me off guard. I didn’t’ realize the show was even on the air until last night-with episode 4. Hey, I do have a life. But Sober House has a very different tone. Remorse. That is how Sober House with Dr. Drew is the next step from Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. We’re getting into a new stage with all this. Rehab was more about what brought them to that situation and really admitting they even HAD an issue in many cases. But Sober seems to be about WHY they want to keep clean. And the surprise admission was Andy Dick. He’s of course famous for all his shenanigans. But as a Chicago guy AND an Improv guy myself I’ve watched this guy for years. Like fellow Chicago area comic Kathy Griffin, these guys are close to my age, but they MADE it. So seeing how they’ve handled their fame has been interesting to me. Dick admitted that this is now is TENTH attempt to get clean. But with his son now being 20 years old it’s just sad to still be this kind of father. In the last series of Rehab you heard a few people talk about thins like that like Kitaen and Rodney King, but this was a clear verbalization of that idea.

So who’s the STAR of the series so far. Well, like I said I came in on episode four and I’m watching episode 3 now, but clearly Steven Adler actually doing HEROIN in the house is the most surprising thing going on.

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Steve was carted off to jail in episode 3 but they MADE HIM WATCH himself on video in episode 4. It actually looks weirder than you might think. I’ve SEEN people in real life that didn’t look this weird on H.

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OK, I’ve been fooling around a little in the piece. This is all sad. These programs and the reality they reflect is ALL sad. But this most recent episode had model Amber LITERALLY walking into a date rape situation. I cannot begin to tell you how terrible it is to have on this blog a piece where I have a photo of her vomiting her guts up and then ALSO be able to post the image below of her drinking again. I mean that vomit sequence clearly was painful to her. So what kind of pain is so bad, INSIDE, to make her resume drinking again? See what I’m saying? The physical pain was just tossed out the window when weighed against her need to relieve the pain inside. Brutal, dudes.

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The Last Season of Scrubs on TV. How Does Zach Braff Look to You?

First of all; people are surprise the show is going off? I mean I thought it was understood that the move to ABC was the nail in the coffin. Clearly the producers talked ABC into the deal NOT to give new life to the series but to end it on their own terms instead of being unceremoniously canceled by NBC. (Who knows, maybe there was a ceremony) You know it’s over for a series, just like with Morel Orel over at AdultSwim a few months ago, when they start showing 2 episodes a night. You can tell the network just wants to fulfill their obligation. And that’s a loophole that the producers didn’t count on; like they said something in the contract like “must air, must air during prime time, must advertise for the show, etc, etc.” So the idea to just dump all the episodes in a rush must seem like such a farfetched waste they didn’t think to stipulate “must air only one new episode per week.”

But having watched about 4 or 5 episodes of the new season I can tell you the show is still fresh as far as I’m concerned. The writing, acting and level of production feel pretty good. This is not easy to maintain. Not many shows manage to do it. Take for example a show like The Office; I think those guys can go on as long as they want. On the other hand the charm, of say, a Dharma and Greg burned out by the end of the first season, but it carried on for another 5 years I think. See? You had totally forgotten about the show hadn’t you?

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Ok so let’s get down to what’s really on my mind? Zach looks ROUGH to me. When I started watching the shows from this season I was aware the show was going off the air and I was under the impression it was because NBC thought they weren’t making enough money from the show. BUT, as I looked at Zach all I could think was “man he looks bad!” I mean he looks gaunt, and tired, and just beat the hell up.


Now I’m not one to talk. I had a TERRIBLE girlfriend thing in my life a year back and I went to hell fast (see my “about” page). But what happened to him? Was it because all the internet searches for “Zach” now have a different spelling as they seek out that other guy now? Or was it the stress of the show? The grind of churning it out? I don’t know; I mean everybody else on the show looks ok. So maybe this ending is for the best. Or maybe I’m just seeing things. But judge for yourself…

What’s Up with the ABC Family Channel? Kyle XY and Fallen Seem too Weird

(STOP. I wrote this piece 12 hours ago. I talk about how I can’t believe they let that show on the air on THAT network; turns out they don’t let that show on the air. The show got canceled today). Let’s see if I can remember. ABC’s “the Family Channel” I seem to recall was a cable variation of the main Network. I’m not sure, but I remember that it was created around the time “Ellen” had the whole gay kiss thing go down. And the idea was that ABC was going to appease all the anti-gay people with a special channel created just for them since the idea of a return to “the family hour” was just ridiculous in these times. Networks are already fighting of scraps in the wake of the cable and satellite explosion of the last 20 years. Oh they laughed at first but now, not only do they take cable and satellite seriously, they’re investors I believe the word is co-opted.

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At any rate, I like “super boy” type TV shows. I mean the type of show where a young guy gets super powers. Obviously it’s because I myself wanted super powers. I don’t think I have that desire anymore but it’s probably more because I don’t believe than an actual lack of want. OK, so all kinds of these appeal to me, as a kid it was Underdog and even NOW as an adult I watch Danny Phantom and Ben 10, Smallville. Recently I even got in the ultimate, and pretty much the first, super boy; Shazam aka Captain Marvel. So that’s pretty much how I found Kyle XY.

Not that I have any position or stance against ABC’s “the Family Channel” I just never could imagine there would be anything on there I would want to see. But, you know, I like sci-fi and comic book stuff, so either I saw a commercial or the famous poster of the main character, played by “Matt Dallas,” with the equally famous missing belly button. And how about that name? Jeez, talk about fabricated for Hollywood. But hey, I can’t condemn the guy I like his acting. I think he’s doing a very believable job especially when EVERYBODY else on the show is like some stereotype of the character they represent. As for the show; it’s top notch! I think it’s actually better than Smallville. That is to say, if I subtracted all the history of Superman I know from my body and just had to judge the two shows on their plots and execution Kyle XY would win.

The strong point of the show is the “after school special” nature that comes by the end of each episode. I actually have ANOTHER confession to make. Years ago when I was living in the scummy, rugged, punk rock, artsy Lower East Side of Manhattan I stumbled across this PBS show called Degrassi Jr. High. I said it! But at the time I was in my young 20’s and you know, living that life. The street dude; a “hipster” before the term had really been coined THAT is how “hip” I was-they didn’t even have a name for it yet. So this Canadian, teen, “message show” was just a clean glass of water in a sea of shit. Seriously. So, KXY is just a nice little show where “issues” are handled. Not just the regular teen angst stuff, but human interaction type stuff.

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The recently added Jesse XX to the show. I say recently but I guess it happened in the second season, or maybe even the end of season one. Because here’s what happened. I downloaded season 2 like a YEAR ago, and so last week I watched ALLLLL of them and then I started in on the 3 episodes of season 3. So tonight when episode 4 comes on I’ll be up to date. But learned a year ago with stupid-ass Lost that in some cases I’d rather just watch some shows at my speed not the network. Because the break between season 2 and 3 of KXY did turn out to be pretty long.

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Which brings us to Fallen. While watching last year’s episodes of KXY I saw some bottom of the screen promos for this Fallen show. And I was a REALLY big fan of those fallen angel movies The Prophecy. Man, I can’t even tell you why I loved those flicks! Even the awful 4th and 5th in the series. But really, the Family Channel? Doesn’t this stuff about clone people and angels and devils seem way too risqué for them?

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On Fallen the LITERALLY showed the devil (as played by the father from Malcolm in the Middle). Speaking of casting. In a sort of funny move they took the small Australian guy who played Azaziel and NOW he’s the new bad guy on Kyle XY. Anyway the show was only 3 episodes long. I guess they were trying to see if people would go for it or not. Good while it lasted… and and REAPER comes back to ABC in March!