VH1 Celebrity Rehab Five The Summer 2011 Edition-Here We Go Again

I KEEP saying I’m not going to watch this program and I KEEP watching it. But man, this mix of stars is weird. But the FIRST thing that comes to light when the program opens is that 2 alumni have died. I knew Jeff Conaway had died just last month, but I did NOT know that Mike Starr from Alice in Chains had died back in March (2011) according to Wikipedia. Wow, that guy always looked like he would be in the struggle but I guess I didn’t think he would ACTUALLY die from drug use. So as you can see, I’m using a lot of capitalization-that’s how weird I feel about this show. Is it good? Is it bad? Is it exploitative? Is it helping? After 5 years I still can’t get it. Just look at all the articles I’ve written! Am I crazy?

Dr. Drew Celebrity Rehab Fourth Season Reunion/Finale

Heidi Instigates, and Relapses but Tom Cries and Fights on Dr Drew’s VH1 Sober House

Holy Crap Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew Tom Sizemore Heidi Fleiss and Mackenzie Phillips

Sex Rehab With Dr. Drew on VH1. Sex Addicts? For Real?

Surprise! Andy Dick is Not the Issue on Sober House. It’s a Celebrity Rehab Veteran

Hell Yeah! Celebrity Rehab on VH1 is Back

OH MY GOD! Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew

If  you missed any of the season you can pick them up over at Amazon.
Celebrity Rehap past shows

Ok, let’s look at the first episode from this season.
Celebrity Rehab 5
Amy Fisher
The “Long Island Lolita.” I think I was living in New York when this whole thing went down. I know I was there for Dinkins (hell, I voted for him) so I think that was the same time. Later when I was living in Los Angeles and the Buttafuoco’s moved there and then I think they split, and he went and opened a body shop an THEN got involved with Amy again. That might not be the exact order-but you know, I was living my life, so only had a passing knowledge of low level “celebrities.” Anyway Amy’s thing is liquor and porn.

Jeremy Jackson
Wow. Somebody on steroids in 2011. I mean what the hell. Who the hell does he have to impress? With muscles? Who the hell is even impressed with muscles. In a world full of body builders who would be impressed with a muscle guy pushing 40? This is CLEARLY a guy with a mental problem if that’s how he sees the world. But they say he was on Baywatch…and HE says he thought a good body would help is “career.” Jeez, just get the Insanity workout tapes. Woops, need to backtrack, he was ALSO on METH.

Bai Ling
Drinking, stealing, and fighting. Chinese actress, who I think was in something I saw…It was like a French film actually, or it was SHOT in France. And some regular Hollywood stuff, but nothing on my radar. She did something I’ve never seen on the show, when she arrived at the Recovery Center, she couldn’t go in. She also made a little impromptu shrine to her grandmother.

Mike Lohan
Lindsay’s dad. Don’t really need to add much to that.
Sean Young
She’s an interesting case. 80’s 90’s actress, kind of came up during the Cusack era. But listen; her cry for help on this program is like 30 fucking years TOO late. She has been a handful for LONG ASS TIME. LONG. I’m not kidding even when I MYSELF was acting in the late 80’s the word was that she was so much of a handful and erratic as hell. So I really can’t wait to see what her compelled her to come out from under her rock and do this program. Why? Private therapy not an option? Why? I mean, why now? What’s the point? It’s not like her addiction is affecting her career. I guess I’m hard on her because she was in Blade Runner and Dune and I really wanted so much for her and her career.

Steven Adler AGAIN! Man this goes back to the Mike Starr thing. Adler doesn’t look like he’ll ever be clean. Ever. So is a death by drugs in his future.

So Ok I guess that’s enough for now, and I’ll update later in the series.