I was REALLY torn about what angle to take on this piece. It was either the obvious path I’ve decided to go, OR I was going to make a sort of Police reference and use the opening line “Don’t stand so close to me.” And why would Edwards be apprehensive about standing too close to Obama? Well ever since I was a little black kid all the way until I became a doddering old black man (40!) every single black comic I’ve ever heard has had a routine about a black man becoming president and how very SHORT his term would be with the gag line being about how fast he’ll be shot. So now that this premise has become a real "life imitating art" scenario I DO wonder about the prospect of that happening. But since presidential assassination is sort of an American tradition, I decided NOT take that angle on this piece. I’m trying to bring new idea to the table here!
So instead I want you to consider this premise; John Edwards is being presented as the safe white man who’ll "be there” to keep the ship on course. Just like good ole’ dad holding onto the back of jr’s first bicycle ride. Here’s the deal; have you noticed in the last few weeks how Howard Dean has popped up again like a rejuvenated, hibernating bear? Well, he clearly has been very busy behind the scenes, and one of the things I believe he spent May doing was convincing John Edwards to be Obama’s Vice President.
So Edwards, who repeatedly said (like they all do), that he had no interest in being vice president is doing a considerable amount of VP posturing. That endorsement looks VERY running mate/winning ticket photo op. So you know what this about right? I mean we’re all adults here, so let’s be real. This is how it’s GOT to be playing out in Dean’s mind an the DNC think tank. ”OK, let’s let Clinton and Obama fight it out and whoever seems to pull ahead in a definitive way is who we’ll throw Edwards at.” Because again, let’s be real; Clinton and Obama-a woman and black guy, sure that’s OK for democrats around the country but the Red State people? Get real! I mean really! Get real. No matter HOW sick they are of Bush, no matter HOW much money McCain’s wife wont disclose that she has, no matter how bad McCain’s temper is or how old he is-those Red State people will let this country burn to a cinder before they put a woman or a black guy in office-without a some kind of safety net. ESPECIALLY Bill Clinton’s wife. I mean really! Get real. So what do you do? You slap a standard issue, Southern drawl talkin’ white guy on the ticket. Fait accompli. Despite the tiff that supposedly happened between Obama and Edward’s wife-water under the bridge now that they’re looking at the next 4-8 years doing Air Force 1 flights together.
Meanwhile the temerity to suggest that anybody AT ALL was wondering what Al Gore is going to do with his super delegate vote. AS IF. As if this is a question in any way, shape or form. Listen Gore is NOT Bill Richardson. Gore can’t claim he “paid his debt” to the Clintons. Bill Clinton did a lot for Richardson and Gore, but he made Gore VICE PRESIDENT! There have only been 43 in the history of this country. And let’s face it; after Gore lost people were really ANGRY that he didn’t try a little harder only showed his "human" side after the election. So he spent the next several years doing all kinds of "works for the world" to rebuild his personal capital and become beloved. So if he switches over to Obama…that’ll go down the drain. He’ll revert to persona non grata. I don’t care if Hillary was some old broken whore in some old fashioned Western town, Gore would STILL have to sleep with her. He is DUTY BOUND to slap on 10 rubbers and get into bed with her. And so Gore’s vote is not even up for debate.