So first of all my actual dad died when I was about 2 years old. My mother, who is alive, is my favorite person in the world. BUT, if I could imagine some people from the past who would have been interesting to have as parents I do have somebody picked out. Alexandra David-Neel and Captain Sir Richard Francis Burton (nope, not the actor).

So let’s talk about how I chose these two 19^th century Europeans as my favorite pretend parents. Despite the fact that neither of the two were known for being particularly committed to family they were both loyal to the people in their lives. But this choice of mine isn’t so much about family as it is about life. David-Neel and Burton lived for exploration and personal growth, and even though I haven’t had the kind of courage to live like they did, I just the fact that they did.

Oddly enough these two figures aren’t very well known by name. But their influence is woven into the fabric of modern society. Particularly fiction. Sir Richard Francis Burton was born in Britain March 19, 1821 and died October 20, 1890. But I first learned about him in Philip José Farmer’s most famous body of work Riverworld. And Louise Eugenie Alexandrine Marie David was born in Paris, on the 24th of October 1868 and died September 8, 1969. I first learned about her during my exploration of Eastern philosophy in the mid 1990’s (see Karma Justice Retribution All That Shit is False, Here’s How the Universe Really Works).

Oddly enough these two figures aren’t very well known by name. But their influence is woven into the fabric of modern society. Particularly fiction. Sir Richard Francis Burton was born in Britain March 19, 1821 and died October 20, 1890. But I first learned about him in Philip José Farmer’s most famous body of work Riverworld. And Louise Eugenie Alexandrine Marie David was born in Paris, on the 24th of October 1868 and died September 8, 1969. I first learned about her during my exploration of Eastern philosophy in the mid 1990’s (see Karma Justice Retribution All That Shit is False, Here’s How the Universe Really Works).

In this age of Wikipedia there’s no way on the face of the Earth I’m going to write a short history of those two. Go here and here to read about them. Although to be fair they both essentially lived Wikipedia-proof lives. The shear extensiveness of their lives, the number of published works they produced and the impossible nature of capturing traveling during a time (to places that had never been traveled by Westerners) makes it impossible to put them on the page.

But I DO want to give you a hint of what they did. Burton’s most recognizable contribution to society is probably his translation work. He was the first guy to translate the Kama Sutra into English. He also did 1001 Nights, which is more recognized as . But when people talk about “master linguist” he’s the guy that term was made for, he’s alleged to have spoken 29 languages. But consider this; he was an explorer, translator, writer, soldier, orientalist, ethnologist, linguist, poet, hypnotist, fencer and diplomat. Jesus! Go read that Wiki!

Alexandra David-Neel is no less pioneering. And again her impact is so vast you don’t really feel her touch. Recently I was reading a Warren Ellis comic book called Doktor Sleepless (no.3) where he brings her up. She brought forward the concept of “Tulpa” to the West from Tibet. And a Tulpa is essentially an entity created from the mind that goes out and lives. These creatures have influenced fiction heavily, from X-files to Stephen King’s It. But just as Burton journeys carried him all over the world and made him the first white man to set foot on many a piece of land, David-Neel traveled in places no Westerner (particularly a woman!!) had ever been like Lhasa in Tibet. Again get over to Wiki, or better yet her official website.

So, in no way putting down your actual parents; who would you pick for your fake parents?

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