I’m back! Oh wait a minute, he’s back! Dr. Drew and his collection of stars and pseudo-stars with odd problems. All my regular readers know I SO rarely write for this blog anymore but this last month I made a surprise return and wrote a piece when TLC started going back to the well and breaking out the weird show. And like any creature of habit, having written about the first two “seasons” of the show. So this article will of course be a work in progress. Tonight was the premiere, so there’s not much I can do except give the names of the people on the show and throw up a few pictures, and of course give some early opinions and see how they play out when it’s all done. So let’s get right to it.

Surfer, James. Never heard of him of course, but he looks and acts like a prick. Obviously he’s a real person I know nothing about and he had the balls to try and get some help. Let’s see how he does! But RIGHT off the bat he has a medical exam and the word “cancer” comes up.

Nicole Norrine. A Playboy model. Clearly some kind of Tiger Woods ethnic mix. So she’s insanely beautiful and masturbates 18 times a day. This is a perfect woman. I will marry her. Sounds like there was incest in her background

Porn Star Jennifer Ketchem with classic porn star syndrome; has no ability to have a real connection with people. Wants to have rough (distant) sex and can’t be intimate

Phil Varone drummer for Skid Row claims a head count (pussy count) of more than 3000. Whoppee! Dr. Drew gets him crying in 30 DAMN seconds!!! Hahahahahaha.

Kari Anne Peneshe a former Miss Teen, so I’m thinking of Travis from Blink 182’s wife now. Another intimacy issue masturbator. First thing out of her mouth is I was molested as a child then raped twice-but it doesn’t bother me. So of course I guess Egypt is going to be her theme. You got that right little pun right? DENIAL. Man she can’t even DO her initial interview. She can’t talk about issues, she can’t even LISTEN to them ask questions.

ANOTHER porn star Kendra Jade. Now her I have heard of. Seems like I first heard about her on Howard Stern being involved with Jerry Springer-can’t confirm that part but I’m sure I heard about her on Stern. She suffers from the “soft” version of what the other porn star has-self destruction to relationships. But she IS married so she’s probably in a slightly better place than the rest.

Duncan Roy is a Brit who I guess is supposed to add a touch of class. But since his thing is sex with ”straight guys” I guess he’s adding a TOUCH OF ASS. But very real and new issues come up; chronic and internet based masturbation.

And Amber Theissan is back. Of course. I think this is like her third time. But in that last series I KNEW she was in some kind of sex trouble when one of the scenes looked like a date rape situation.

Counselor Jill and manager Thelma are the staff who are here for this go around. So looking at the previews it looks like it’s going to be a pretty VOLATILE series. I’ll be back to fix spelling and add pictures…..

Art therapy week

So last night’s episode was an odd one. Dr.Drew’s Rehab shows tend to include at least 2 field trips. So this was the groups first big outing. They went to what I assume was a space maintained or rented by a therapist who  specializes in aggression/repression issues. And they threw some shit  around. I mean basically what’s what happened. Dr. Drew went along of course.

Some very real things happened despite the sort of contrived nature of the environment. Obviously not much was REALLY going to be accomplished but TV is a visual medium and therapy and recovery are pretty much just talking and thinking-but that wouldn’t make for much of a show. So the rocker let out some rather personal feelings.

But the highlight of the night was Amber. And no that’s not muppet semen, that’s her letting everything hang out and a good old fashion paint splash.

So how effective do you think something like this is?

Let’s do a little comparison.

Let’s take a look at the show Intervention on A & E. That show is also in the genre of “tv therapy.” But it won and Emmy Award in 2009. And let me show you why. Below are some picture of a woman named Allison from an episode that came on the same night as Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew.

Now let me be clear about this. The people on Dr. Drew’s shw and the people on Intervention all have problems. Real problems. But how each show decides to deal with those people is kind of night and day.

Allison is very much like Amber from the VH1 shows. She’s got multiple problems. Sexual abuse issues, parent issues, prostituting herself, self destructive behavior. The works. But these Dr. Drew shows approach is that you SEE the therapy. And Intervention is all about getting the person TO the therapy. And the VH1 shows, I think, downplay the long slow work of recovery. It’s and abbreviated in and out and now we’re done  kinda of thing. They MIGHT spend 3 minutes talking about what it took to get the celebrity to the environment. Same with impact on the family.

Intervention really emphasizes family pain. Here’s Allison’s mother.

The grandmother

The sister

The show talks about how these girls were molested but one sister eventually had a sort of internal cave-in decades later and it all started with using inhalers as a drug.

And I know that seems like a mild drug, but DUDE, look at this face.

Not to mention the fact that she also takes razor blades to herself.

So what am I saying? Well, pain is pain. No doubt about it and I’m no stranger to it. It’s all about show approach though. And I’ll be honest I’m planning on making a movie next year and “get famous.” But let’s just say, when I finally DO crack  and the shit does finally hit the fan for, me I’d rather end up on Intervention than a Dr. Drew show.

Related posts:

1. OH MY GOD! Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew
2. Surprise! Andy Dick is Not the Issue on Sober House. It’s a Celebrity Rehab Veteran
3. Holy Crap Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew Tom Sizemore Heidi Fleiss and Mackenzie Phillips
4. Dr. Drew Celebrity Rehab Fourth Season Reunion/Finale
5. VH1 Celebrity Rehab Five The Summer 2011 Edition-Here We Go Again