Holy Crap Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew Tom Sizemore Heidi Fleiss and Mackenzie Phillips

OK I KNOW. I was supposed to stop watching this show. I know! I can’t help it. I need to go to rehab to stop watching this show. So you know this one is going to be RE DUNK U LESS. Oh VH1 why do you torture me?

First, let me tell WHEN the show comes on though, because it’s all over the place. We’ll use EASTERN TIME.

NEW SHOWS; THURSDAYS at 11 AM repeats at 10 and 11 PM and then many more times throughout the week

REPEATS OF PREVIOUS SHOWS; on  THURSDAYS at 9 PM they do last weeks and it repeats 1:30 AM (Friday), and they also do the show from 2 weeks ago at 2:30 AM. Basically on Thursday the show comes on SIX TIMES. Guess what? The new show also repeats at 3:30 AM, so it’s actually SEVEN times.

Dennis Rodman is on the show by COURT order. He shows up first-with his white wife of course. I mean he was a pro ball player so the color of the woman is to be expected, but who knew he was married? That’s the shocker. He looks terrible. During the Dr. Drew interview he actually surprises me AGAIN when he says he’s not a drug user. But he says he drinks. Anyway what comes through is he is locked up mentally. He is refusing this thing on every level.

Mindy McCready. Extreme situation that looks calm on the surface. I’m picking up a severe lying. Look at this long list of pictures of her in distress and she describes as always being somebody fault but her own. And she lies about some drugs she has when she shows up. And I even get the feeling she’s lying about her being attached to her son. Reminds me of my ex-girlfriend. A chronic liar with no real attachment to people. All for show.

One thing that IS INTERESTING is that when Mindy has the seizure they take her to see Dr. Amen. And the Doc is a brain doctor and emotional improvement specialist who did this special on PBS that I wrote about called Change Your Brain and Change Your Life on PBS. Check it out while you’re here…

Mike from Alice in Chains. Typical. Rock star loses band, has downward spiral. He’s on methadone and coke and heroin when possible. K and LSD too. Two of the people on the show say they use drugs with their father. Now, listen; I’m a city boy and I LOVE living right in the middle of cities. And that means I’ve lived close to meth clinics a LOT. When I lived in Hollywood for 9 years I used to watch them line up for their dose all the time-right next to the Scientology place. Wonder if I ever saw Mike?

Mackenzie Phillips. Son of John Phillips. Incest. I mean what else do I need to say? One of the things she says is she’s one of the first child stars gets on drugs. And as a guy from her time I’d have to say yeah. I mean I grew up on the Mommas and the Pappas AND One Day at a Time. So I literally watched her. When her sister Bijou hit the “scene” I was living in Manhattan and she became a “somebody” who had done nothing. The precursor to Paris Hilton.

Speaking of that lifestyle, next up is Lisa DaMato. So she’s just another typical. Pretty young thing doing drugs. Classic model. Her and Mike are like “classics.” Sex abuse of course. I’m not making light of it, I’m saying it’s really exactly what you expect. The behavior comes from a place, and that place is too common in our culture.

Heidi shows up having used speed THAT DAY. She is of course LA. VERY LA a real local. She went to prison for the whore thing. Then sent Tom to prison for beating on her. She looks a LOT like a close friend of mine. Jewish of course. Her talk with Shelly is a little weird; you can kinda see who she was a madam. She starts quizzing her and sort of assessing her. It’s weird…

Heidi is a lonely lady and didn’t think she’d have any visitors on family day, so it was nice little relief that somebody came to see her.

But don’t get TOO misty eyed about Heidi; remember, she WAS a “Madame.” In LA. And just a refresher course for those of you who don’t know-thousands and thousand and thousands of young people go to LA every year to “make it.” And ending up sucking somebody’s dick or having several people ram a dicks in their ass is not a great success story. And the fact that we give female pimps an elegant sounding name doesn’t change what it is; so keep in mind what she facilitated. “You don’t have any money? Well I can “help” ya, don’t be a baby, stop crying, just go do it, forget about it, see these nice apartment I let you stay in, take a shower, go shopping buy yourself something, it won’t be forever.” I know that rap. I know that rap. I’ve been all over the planet, with about 10 years in Hollywood, and I’ve seen this dance again and again.

So Tom enters the show via a strange run and escape situation. Then finally gets introduced to the cast after some police action kind of forces him to get treatment. He arrives with a small entourage like a real live movie star and these hangers on just kind of stick like flies on shit. He starts by INITIALLY blaming her for his drugs and quick-switches to “oh I was doing heroin before that.”

But when Heidi hears, she just makes a BEELINE to see him. No question where she is going. Straight to see him, is it gonna be a fight? I won’t spoil the surprise for you…

Joey, oy vey! He’s like a meathead from Chicago. I myself am from Chicago. And of course I’m currently IN Chicago. But this guy went to LA and I guess went apeshit. His thing seems to be Jake Daniels, coke and X.

Tom Sizemore didn’t show up in the first episode, but I remember hearing about it when they were taping the show a few months ago. So let’s see how it plays out.

Anyway, the good news is that while the show was on a commercial came on, and it looks like my beloved Salt N Pepa show is coming back except now it’s called “Let’s Talk About Pep.”

Surprise! Andy Dick is Not the Issue on Sober House. It’s a Celebrity Rehab Veteran

Annnnnnnd…we’re back! So Vh1 is up to their old tricks again; convincing celebrities that they’re “helping people by going public with their problems.” This, of course, is a joke. The goal is to make them look AWFUL and embarrassing for the amusement of a spiteful and fickle audience. Ah sweet, sweet, TV. Where would I be without you. In fact…Wait. Let’s stop this train for a second and first let’s talk about ME. See, I can’t believe I’m watching this show. Last year I was even watching Intervention. Here’s the kicker; I don’t do drugs. I don’t even DRINK. On top of all that; I don’t even know people who DO! I mean damn. Why am I watching these shows? What is wrong with me? Oh no! I’m addicted to bad TV! Shit! This is now the 4th or 5th Vh1 show I’ve watched. It started pretty innocent with the Salt N Pepper show (or maybe it DIDN’T start so innocently, it might have been the Flavor Flav Brigete Neilson one), and now I’ve sunken to all these rehab shows.

soberhouse

Actually Sober House caught me off guard. I didn’t’ realize the show was even on the air until last night-with episode 4. Hey, I do have a life. But Sober House has a very different tone. Remorse. That is how Sober House with Dr. Drew is the next step from Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. We’re getting into a new stage with all this. Rehab was more about what brought them to that situation and really admitting they even HAD an issue in many cases. But Sober seems to be about WHY they want to keep clean. And the surprise admission was Andy Dick. He’s of course famous for all his shenanigans. But as a Chicago guy AND an Improv guy myself I’ve watched this guy for years. Like fellow Chicago area comic Kathy Griffin, these guys are close to my age, but they MADE it. So seeing how they’ve handled their fame has been interesting to me. Dick admitted that this is now is TENTH attempt to get clean. But with his son now being 20 years old it’s just sad to still be this kind of father. In the last series of Rehab you heard a few people talk about thins like that like Kitaen and Rodney King, but this was a clear verbalization of that idea.

So who’s the STAR of the series so far. Well, like I said I came in on episode four and I’m watching episode 3 now, but clearly Steven Adler actually doing HEROIN in the house is the most surprising thing going on.

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Steve was carted off to jail in episode 3 but they MADE HIM WATCH himself on video in episode 4. It actually looks weirder than you might think. I’ve SEEN people in real life that didn’t look this weird on H.

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OK, I’ve been fooling around a little in the piece. This is all sad. These programs and the reality they reflect is ALL sad. But this most recent episode had model Amber LITERALLY walking into a date rape situation. I cannot begin to tell you how terrible it is to have on this blog a piece where I have a photo of her vomiting her guts up and then ALSO be able to post the image below of her drinking again. I mean that vomit sequence clearly was painful to her. So what kind of pain is so bad, INSIDE, to make her resume drinking again? See what I’m saying? The physical pain was just tossed out the window when weighed against her need to relieve the pain inside. Brutal, dudes.

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Hell Yeah! Celebrity Rehab on VH1 is Back

Well I really haven’t been a VH1 viewer since almost since the last Celebrity Rehab I that wrote about. And what can I say I just got sucked in last time, since I really am not a celebrity guy or drug guy-so both of those combined SHOULD have meant nothing to me, but the show just caught me. So this time I’m on board early. Me and Dr. Drew baby! As soon as I saw a commercial for it last week I knew I was going to watch. So I’m writing this AS the first episode is airing.

The collection of people is as diverse as you might expect. First up is “non” patient Gary Busey. It’s been said before and it’s been said repeatedly that Busey is bat shit crazy. He shows up allegedly clean but acting so weird that his behavior would tell you he’s ON drugs, but who knows…

And then there’s model/actress Amber Smith, who’s on prescription drugs. Taking drugs on camera and everything! She looks like a sad case. But really, she’s there to cleanse the palette because next up is Rodney motherfuckin’ King. THE Rodney. I mean the whole premise of his beat down is that he was SO deep into drugs that the cops had to beat him down. 3 words; vomiting out truck. Next up is Tawny Kitaen, who’s a little like Amber; a rather typical Hollywood pretty lady who from back in the day who finds her way to drugs-but watch as she gives Busey the big blow off. Speaking of typcial; of COURSE there’s a rockstar, Steven Adler from Guns N Roses. And a jr. rockstar, somebody from American idol, Nikki McKibbin.Speaking of jr’s there’s also Rod Steward’s son Sean. Jeff Conoway is back in a STRANGE spousal abuse situation/co-dependance situation.

Here’s a little more grief for you. Below is Rodney King being asked about his feeling regarding the beating.

And here’s Ambe in full blow detox.