VH1 Celebrity Rehab Five The Summer 2011 Edition-Here We Go Again

I KEEP saying I’m not going to watch this program and I KEEP watching it. But man, this mix of stars is weird. But the FIRST thing that comes to light when the program opens is that 2 alumni have died. I knew Jeff Conaway had died just last month, but I did NOT know that Mike Starr from Alice in Chains had died back in March (2011) according to Wikipedia. Wow, that guy always looked like he would be in the struggle but I guess I didn’t think he would ACTUALLY die from drug use. So as you can see, I’m using a lot of capitalization-that’s how weird I feel about this show. Is it good? Is it bad? Is it exploitative? Is it helping? After 5 years I still can’t get it. Just look at all the articles I’ve written! Am I crazy?

Dr. Drew Celebrity Rehab Fourth Season Reunion/Finale

Heidi Instigates, and Relapses but Tom Cries and Fights on Dr Drew’s VH1 Sober House

Holy Crap Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew Tom Sizemore Heidi Fleiss and Mackenzie Phillips

Sex Rehab With Dr. Drew on VH1. Sex Addicts? For Real?

Surprise! Andy Dick is Not the Issue on Sober House. It’s a Celebrity Rehab Veteran

Hell Yeah! Celebrity Rehab on VH1 is Back

OH MY GOD! Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew

If  you missed any of the season you can pick them up over at Amazon.
Celebrity Rehap past shows

Ok, let’s look at the first episode from this season.
Celebrity Rehab 5
Amy Fisher
The “Long Island Lolita.” I think I was living in New York when this whole thing went down. I know I was there for Dinkins (hell, I voted for him) so I think that was the same time. Later when I was living in Los Angeles and the Buttafuoco’s moved there and then I think they split, and he went and opened a body shop an THEN got involved with Amy again. That might not be the exact order-but you know, I was living my life, so only had a passing knowledge of low level “celebrities.” Anyway Amy’s thing is liquor and porn.

Jeremy Jackson
Wow. Somebody on steroids in 2011. I mean what the hell. Who the hell does he have to impress? With muscles? Who the hell is even impressed with muscles. In a world full of body builders who would be impressed with a muscle guy pushing 40? This is CLEARLY a guy with a mental problem if that’s how he sees the world. But they say he was on Baywatch…and HE says he thought a good body would help is “career.” Jeez, just get the Insanity workout tapes. Woops, need to backtrack, he was ALSO on METH.

Bai Ling
Drinking, stealing, and fighting. Chinese actress, who I think was in something I saw…It was like a French film actually, or it was SHOT in France. And some regular Hollywood stuff, but nothing on my radar. She did something I’ve never seen on the show, when she arrived at the Recovery Center, she couldn’t go in. She also made a little impromptu shrine to her grandmother.

Mike Lohan
Lindsay’s dad. Don’t really need to add much to that.
rehab
Sean Young
She’s an interesting case. 80’s 90’s actress, kind of came up during the Cusack era. But listen; her cry for help on this program is like 30 fucking years TOO late. She has been a handful for LONG ASS TIME. LONG. I’m not kidding even when I MYSELF was acting in the late 80’s the word was that she was so much of a handful and erratic as hell. So I really can’t wait to see what her compelled her to come out from under her rock and do this program. Why? Private therapy not an option? Why? I mean, why now? What’s the point? It’s not like her addiction is affecting her career. I guess I’m hard on her because she was in Blade Runner and Dune and I really wanted so much for her and her career.

Steven Adler AGAIN! Man this goes back to the Mike Starr thing. Adler doesn’t look like he’ll ever be clean. Ever. So is a death by drugs in his future.

So Ok I guess that’s enough for now, and I’ll update later in the series.

Surprise! Andy Dick is Not the Issue on Sober House. It’s a Celebrity Rehab Veteran

Annnnnnnd…we’re back! So Vh1 is up to their old tricks again; convincing celebrities that they’re “helping people by going public with their problems.” This, of course, is a joke. The goal is to make them look AWFUL and embarrassing for the amusement of a spiteful and fickle audience. Ah sweet, sweet, TV. Where would I be without you. In fact…Wait. Let’s stop this train for a second and first let’s talk about ME. See, I can’t believe I’m watching this show. Last year I was even watching Intervention. Here’s the kicker; I don’t do drugs. I don’t even DRINK. On top of all that; I don’t even know people who DO! I mean damn. Why am I watching these shows? What is wrong with me? Oh no! I’m addicted to bad TV! Shit! This is now the 4th or 5th Vh1 show I’ve watched. It started pretty innocent with the Salt N Pepper show (or maybe it DIDN’T start so innocently, it might have been the Flavor Flav Brigete Neilson one), and now I’ve sunken to all these rehab shows.

soberhouse

Actually Sober House caught me off guard. I didn’t’ realize the show was even on the air until last night-with episode 4. Hey, I do have a life. But Sober House has a very different tone. Remorse. That is how Sober House with Dr. Drew is the next step from Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. We’re getting into a new stage with all this. Rehab was more about what brought them to that situation and really admitting they even HAD an issue in many cases. But Sober seems to be about WHY they want to keep clean. And the surprise admission was Andy Dick. He’s of course famous for all his shenanigans. But as a Chicago guy AND an Improv guy myself I’ve watched this guy for years. Like fellow Chicago area comic Kathy Griffin, these guys are close to my age, but they MADE it. So seeing how they’ve handled their fame has been interesting to me. Dick admitted that this is now is TENTH attempt to get clean. But with his son now being 20 years old it’s just sad to still be this kind of father. In the last series of Rehab you heard a few people talk about thins like that like Kitaen and Rodney King, but this was a clear verbalization of that idea.

So who’s the STAR of the series so far. Well, like I said I came in on episode four and I’m watching episode 3 now, but clearly Steven Adler actually doing HEROIN in the house is the most surprising thing going on.

steve

Steve was carted off to jail in episode 3 but they MADE HIM WATCH himself on video in episode 4. It actually looks weirder than you might think. I’ve SEEN people in real life that didn’t look this weird on H.

stevetv1

stevetv2

OK, I’ve been fooling around a little in the piece. This is all sad. These programs and the reality they reflect is ALL sad. But this most recent episode had model Amber LITERALLY walking into a date rape situation. I cannot begin to tell you how terrible it is to have on this blog a piece where I have a photo of her vomiting her guts up and then ALSO be able to post the image below of her drinking again. I mean that vomit sequence clearly was painful to her. So what kind of pain is so bad, INSIDE, to make her resume drinking again? See what I’m saying? The physical pain was just tossed out the window when weighed against her need to relieve the pain inside. Brutal, dudes.

ambersuckin

Hell Yeah! Celebrity Rehab on VH1 is Back

Well I really haven’t been a VH1 viewer since almost since the last Celebrity Rehab I that wrote about. And what can I say I just got sucked in last time, since I really am not a celebrity guy or drug guy-so both of those combined SHOULD have meant nothing to me, but the show just caught me. So this time I’m on board early. Me and Dr. Drew baby! As soon as I saw a commercial for it last week I knew I was going to watch. So I’m writing this AS the first episode is airing.

The collection of people is as diverse as you might expect. First up is “non” patient Gary Busey. It’s been said before and it’s been said repeatedly that Busey is bat shit crazy. He shows up allegedly clean but acting so weird that his behavior would tell you he’s ON drugs, but who knows…

And then there’s model/actress Amber Smith, who’s on prescription drugs. Taking drugs on camera and everything! She looks like a sad case. But really, she’s there to cleanse the palette because next up is Rodney motherfuckin’ King. THE Rodney. I mean the whole premise of his beat down is that he was SO deep into drugs that the cops had to beat him down. 3 words; vomiting out truck. Next up is Tawny Kitaen, who’s a little like Amber; a rather typical Hollywood pretty lady who from back in the day who finds her way to drugs-but watch as she gives Busey the big blow off. Speaking of typcial; of COURSE there’s a rockstar, Steven Adler from Guns N Roses. And a jr. rockstar, somebody from American idol, Nikki McKibbin.Speaking of jr’s there’s also Rod Steward’s son Sean. Jeff Conoway is back in a STRANGE spousal abuse situation/co-dependance situation.

Here’s a little more grief for you. Below is Rodney King being asked about his feeling regarding the beating.

And here’s Ambe in full blow detox.